Review: Find Me by Laura van den Berg

Find Me by Laura van den Berg
Published by Straus and Giroux on February 17, 2015
Pages: 288
Format: eARC
Source: the publisher (egalley)

It begins with memory loss, ending traumatically with death. A sickness devastates the country, decimating the population. Joy is one of the rare individuals with immunity and finds herself, with others like her, in a hospital in rural Kansas.

The treatments the survivors underwent at the hospital were far from typical, but nothing in this situation was. They held a strong belief that the medical staff was close to a treatment and cure, so they abided by the stringent rules forced upon them. There was no existence beyond the hospital windows. It is from here that the survivors were bystanders to the world outside, their glances met by those who looked inward with hope.

Before the epidemic, Joy had no one. An orphan, her childhood was spent moving from one foster home to another. Her adult life is pretty solitary; she worked the graveyard shift at a grocery store, nursing a pretty intense addiction to cough syrup. Now, surrounded by other survivors, she can’t help but contemplate the existence of surviving family members. One of her few possessions upon entering the hospital was a photograph of her mother. She scans the lists of survivors, as well as those who have lost the battle, simultaneously terrified and hopeful that she would recognize a name. Nothing.

Despite strong instructions to avoid close relationships with others, Joy finds solace and companionship with her male roommate. A pair of twins in the room next to hers provides a sense of hopefulness and a possibility of a future. Yet as the survivors begin to fall victim to the sickness they were once immune from, Joy once again finds herself alone, lacking control of her life and future. As social order in her world falls down around her once again, she strives to fill the void lacking in her life.

A key theme to this novel is the concept of filling the void in one’s life and holding tight to memories that are far from permanent. Joy struggles with seeing the light in the darkness that is her life, yet she has been granted a gift too few have been given. She searches for external sources to nurture her when she should be looking within.

While the tone of Find Me may appear dark and despairing, it is also filled with hope, promise, and contemplation. Rather than focusing on the tragedy that brought down society, van den Berg instead focuses on the characters and the beauty that still exists despite being surrounded by despair.

With any novel of apocalyptic nature, there are portions requiring that the reader is expected to suspend disbelief. Some questions are never answered. Likely that is because the author is guided the reader on a specific route full of meaning and intention. Joy is the navigator on this route, urging readers to follow her on a truly monumental journey. Highly, highly recommended.